new adventures

Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for following my Romania Adventures through the summer. I have been so excited to share these things with you. I am now beginning a new adventure though. I will be moving to Pittsburgh next week. I will be living with an amazing friend of mine who was my roommate last year, and hopefully working at the same place as her too. I have sent my application, I am just waiting for it to get there and get processed and stuff. But, even if I don't get that job I am still going. I feel like this is the place that God has opened a door and will continue to as long as I am following him. I am so excited about this. I understand why I God closed the doors in Michigan, on both the East and West sides of the state. Although parts of me are so connected to each of these places, I needed a new adventure to keep my relationship with God strong and centered. I know that if I stayed home, I would fall into a routine like everyone else in Peck. I would just be coming back into all of the same things that I left four years ago. People expect me to be the same person that I was when I left, but I am not. I have changed so much, and for the better. I am so much more confident in myself and when the people here knew me I was shy and and less self confidence than Eeyore. I was good at hiding it though, but I am so different now. That is why I can't stay here. And I can't go back to the west side, where my GBC family is because I know that even if I am doing other things, I will still be there and come back to my bubble of security. That whole side of the state to me is a bubble of security. It is comfort, it is healing, it is helpful, and no matter how much I long to be there, I know that if I was there I would not be stretched. I would not be pushed to my limit. I would be comfortable. So this is why I am moving. And I am totally at peace about moving. I am excited to be able to go and experience something new without having to be tied down to something. There are so many new adventures just waiting to be had in Pittsburgh. I can't wait.

I will not be writing on this blog anymore though, until my next Romania adventure. But I will continue to blog on my other blog. You will be able to find updates and little things about my life on this blog. I will be posting there as often as I can.

Thank you so much for your support, prayers, and love.

I will see you in Pittsburgh.

transition period.

the word transition is something that i have seen and been hearing a lot from friends and family lately. I feel like I am in this hardcore transition period. I have no idea what I am going to do now that I am officially a college graduate, but it doesn't matter. I can do anything. I know this is a time where things are going to change and where I am going to explore and experience God in some new ways that are going to be challenging yet great. I know that the world is at my fingertips, I just need to dive in and see where this crazy journey takes me. I know these things in my head, but it is hard to commit to letting go of that control. Before I left for Romania I had a plan. A big plan. It was going to be perfect, I knew where I would work and how much money I would save and when I would be able to come home. Then God shut that door, it didn't feel right and it was hard to withdraw from that decision, but it meant that God had something bigger in mind. So then I started another plan. Once again I knew where I was going to live and sort of what I would be doing. And if that plan followed through I could be close to my friends and close to the community that I have been a part of for the last four years. But once again that fell through. Since I got home I have been trying to figure things out, but it seems like every time I get close to a plan, something goes wrong and it falls through. Then a friend told me a about a job that she has. It would require me stepping out of my plans and into something really unknown. It is that dive, that step, that leap that everyone talks about but no one really knows how to do it. I have not been really worried about this job situation because I know that God has something big planned for me, and if this works out then great, but if it doesn't then God has something better.

People prepare you your whole life for what the next step is. In preschool the next step is elementary, in elementary the next step is middle school, in middle school the next step is high school, after high school the next step is college. You know what to expect with these things. You know there will be homework involved and there will be classes and teachers and it is predictable. And even though college is supposed to prepare you for the rest of your life, it is hard for them to prepare you to do something other than go to school which is what you have done for the last 16-20 years of your life. It is hard to know what it is like until you get to that place where "life" or "the real world" are staring you right in the face and you realize you have no idea what to do.

So this is my transition period. I need to figure out what I am going to do in this middle time. I know what I want to do... but there are a few factors contributing to my not being able to do that right away. So until that time... what do I do?

I have no clue. But I am okay with that... or getting more comfortable with it everyday I should say. God's got this.

I am transitioning into the rest of my life. Weird.

Now it's time to change the world... let's do this.

the pocket of a missionary

first of all "pocket" in this blog is going to be representing something that we can carry our things around in. It may not be a physical pocket, but a metaphorical pocket. As I was watching one of the Heart to Heart staff run around and play games with the kids today, she decided to empty the contents of her pocket to she wasn't running around with those things the whole time. As I watched this unfold I was wondering what she had that needed to be emptied. As she pulled things out, it made me smile and say to myself "only in the pocket of a missionary." Then I thought of my pockets. The place where I keep everything when I am there. I used my backpack or my purse generally to keep things. As I thought of the simplicity of the things in this pocket it made me smile to myself. Here are some things that you might find in the pocket of a H2H missionary at any given time during summer ministry:
- LANYARD (and lots of it)
- Friendship Bracelets/Friendship bracelet string
- Notes written in a different language, decorated specifically for you from "your kid"
- More bracelets
- Camera (which may or may not be or end up being broken at some point)
- Markers
- Beads
- A Pipe Cleaner mass which was once a crown or bracelet
- Popped Balloons

I love summer ministry.

Nicu

Oh my Nicu.
He is so great.
He is 19 years old. He has been at this orphanage for 10 years. He is so smart. When we talked he knew things that many of the kids don't know, or even really care about. He talked about government and policies and the U.S. and geography. He knew the different airports in Bucharest and which one I was probably flying out of and where it was. He is so special to me. We made bracelets together, we sat on the swings together, we laughed, and when we had to say goodbye, we were sad together. He made me a bracelet. He picked out the colors pink and this light blueish green color that we had. He picked those because he thought since I am a girl I like pink and he liked the other one. I started it for him and then he made it for me. When he put it on me he told me not to take it off because it was an "amintire" or something to remember him by. I still have it on.
One day when we were talking he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no I don't. He said that was a good thing because that way I didn't have to worry about a boyfriend missing me or be missing him too much while I was working with them. He also told me that when I do get a boyfriend I am to bring him to Romania so that Nicu can meet him and approve. It was so funny when I was talking to him. He totally went into almost an older brother lecture mode about it.

When he had to leave the day he came to the carnival... the last day I saw him, he told me not to cry because he was sure that we would see each other again. He said that we only have to be apart for a little while before we will see each other. It was so sweet and only made me cry more.

boys. boys. boys.

They are so much fun. The time that I got to spend at the special needs boys school this summer was amazing. It was only four days, but it felt like it was so much longer than that. During those four days that we went to the boys school I fell absolutely in love with the boys that I was working with. It was like as soon as we were introduced I suddenly had 40 new brothers. They were so kind to all of us and they treated us so well. They took care of us and made sure that we were okay. They brought us flowers from some of the trees nearby. They were so much more energetic and ready to do things with us than the girls. We didn’t have to try and win them over or almost be invited into their lives like with the girls. With the girls you have to almost wait for them to pick you and if they don’t pick you within the first few moments or hours it is really hard to be a part of their lives because they won’t accept you. With the boys it was totally different. They had their favorites, but any of us could talk to them. Any of us could love on them and they weren’t reserved about being loved. The first day that we were there, some things happened and we weren’t able to start our program until around 2:30 p.m. We were originally supposed to start at around 10. We ended up doing our whole day program that afternoon from 2:30 until 6 and we still had time leftover. They boys could only be occupied with certain things for so long, but other things kept them occupied for hours. Things like friendship bracelets, lanyard, and beads. They did this for HOURS. I am telling you I have made so many bracelets in the last month that I should have kept a tally. One day we totally cut our afternoon games because they were totally content just doing bracelets and talking to us. I spent the majority of my afternoons sitting on a swing set. Now this swing set is not how we picture a swing set in the states. This swing set was completely metal. The pieces that held the swings on, usually would be like chain links. These ones were just pieces of rebar that had been painted long ago, but the paint had faded and they were now rusty. The actual swing part was just a flat piece of metal, and it had a back on it making it more like a chair than a swing. But I spent my time sitting on this swing set getting to know “my boys.” Nicu, Ionut, and Aurel were my boys. They are three of the older boys who I became quite attached to. I am going to write a specific blog about Nicu, so I won’t really tell you much about him now. Ionut is almost 18 years old, he knows a little bit of English, and he likes to act like a car… a stick shift car. He makes the motion and the noise of changing gears. He makes a honking sound and when he pretends to turn he makes a blinker noise and winks with whichever eye is the way he is “turning.” I have heard many people make car sounds in my life, but no one has ever done as good of a job as Ionut. So I nicknamed him “Masina” because that is what a car is called in Romanian. Aurel who is 22, I nicknamed “Dog-boy” when I didn’t know his name because one day as we were coming back from lunch we saw him hiding something behind his back. He was hiding this thing with one had and waving so intensely with his other hand. As we were in the car Katie and I turned around because we wanted to see what he had. It turned out that he had a dead dog. He was trying to throw it over the wall so that we didn’t have to see it or anything. As we watched he was trying so hard to get it over the fence, but the dog didn’t quite make it so all that happened was it smacked the fence and fell down. He absolutely loves playing with hair, it doesn’t matter if it is in a ponytail or down, but multiple times I had it up in a bun and he took it out of the bun into just a ponytail so that he could play with it. These three boys were so fun to talk to and just get to know a little better. Sometimes we had a translator and sometimes we didn’t, but when we didn’t the conversation was simple enough for me to understand and attempt to respond. The answers were simple enough that they could understand what I was trying to say and correct me if I said something wrong. These three boys are like the big brothers that I gained. Although two of them are two and three years younger than me I still felt like they were my older brothers and would protect me like older brothers would. I love them and miss them very much. It was so sweet to see how they responded to us and how close we were able to get in such a short amount of time. I love them so very much and can’t wait to see them again. Ask me questions about my boys and I will tell you stories upon stories.


me with my boys Aurel, Ionut, and Nicu

The Super Team

The Super Team.

What makes those words so special when they are put together? Let me share with you a little insight into the words first:
*The word “super”— “a prefix occurring in loanwords from Latin, with the basic meaning “above, beyond.”
*The word “team”—“a group of people organized to work together”

When those words are put together literally meaning an organized group of people working together to go above and beyond, there is a very high expectation. That is the name we were given. The Super Team. For 15 days, we were the Super Team.

The words have a high expectation just standing alone, but when you put 9 women and between 1 and 3 men (depending on the day) together with the title of Super Team, just the name of the team can be a bit intimidating. We were not scared though. We were up to the challenges that were facing us in the south of Romania. We bonded, we loved, we shared life, we got to know each other, but most of all we prayed. We prayed so much that when we returned to Bucharest I had almost forgotten that not everyone on every team prays so much and it was a weird feeling. We prayed for everything we could imagine from weather, to vehicles, to homesickness, to broken hearts. We prayed for mountains in the hearts of kids and directors. We prayed for safety and health. We prayed for God’s love to overflow from each of our lives giving each of us more of ourselves to share and give away. We prayed for children by name. We had high expectations for God to move. When you get that many people together it can be hard to all be on the same page, it can be easy to respond with bitterness and anger as opposed to love and forgiveness. We prayed for unity. God was faithful, we were unified. During our whole time I can think of one time when our team was divided. It could have been a bad thing for us, but instead of siding with each other and holding grudges we talked through things and we prayed. It was not only for those 15 days that we were together though, the women on the team had been together for the girly camps that were for almost two weeks prior to this. Much of our time together was spent in laughter and joy.

Let me tell you what the Super Team physically did.

We started in Alexandria doing a program for the girls and continued the next week with the boy’s school in Rosiori. We did a points system so that at the end of the four days there would be a winning team. They got points for helping out, for winning games, for memorizing verses, for participation, and just random points. We started each day with music and a Bible skit that we had prepared for that day. Our theme for this summer was “When we act with courage, God responds with faithfulness.” We definitely not only taught this but also lived it out in our own lives. After our skits we would have a time of group discussion. We split into three teams (Red, Blue, and Yellow) and in our teams we would go through the story again, ask questions about the story, and do a memory verse. After that we would play a game until lunch time. During lunch we would have time to rest and regroup for the afternoon. In Alexandria we were very blessed to be able to use a room in the basement of the church there. It was a nice place to retreat to that was a nice cool place to get out of the heat. After lunch we would do crafts and play games and relay races and have some free time for the rest of the day. It really was a lot of fun to get to know the kids and talk to them After their four days of us going to their school, we had two days of carnivals at the boy’s transition house. We split them each into two groups so the first days the littler ones came and the second days the older ones came. The girls carnivals were really fun. In the morning we did music, carnival games, an obstacle course, and some group games, then lunch. After lunch we did a slip-n-slide and zipline. During those things towards the end of the day we took the girls and washed their hair. They all enjoyed it very much and it was so cute to see all of their faces as they were getting clean. With the boys it was a bit different, because it was raining and colder on both days. The first day we had to move everything inside, figure out how the day was going to run, and come up with skits that morning. But God was faithful and we got through that day without problems. We all crammed into the small dining room, I think there was about 34 of us that day. God was faithful in letting the rain stop just long enough for each boy to go down the zipline one time each before the rain started again. It was so much fun and just the kind of thing those boys needed. The second day of boys was amazing because even though it has stopped raining, we still couldn’t do a slip-n-slide, but they loved the zipline as well as just playing soccer out in the yard and making bracelets with us.

That is what we physically did as the summer ministry team, but what makes us the Super Team? Anyone could have done those things and had them go smoothly, but we were different, set apart. We blessed the older girls in Alexandria with groceries that they cannot afford and ice cream treats for the girls we worked with, we had pictures printed off so that each child could have something either to remember us or to give to someone else to remember them by, and I personally made more lanyards in one day at the boys school than I thought humanly possible. My team and I got along and we did not work as individuals from different states and walks of life but as brothers and sisters who came together, united in heart, in strength, in spirit, in joy, and in our goal. We are a family, a family that has different personalities and strengths and weaknesses, but where one lacks the others pick it up. We are a team of servants. We did not fight over things that would cause dissension, but we were so set on serving each other the only things we argued about was who was going to do dishes because too many people WANTED to. I could go on with my stories, but I won’t right now. God proved himself time and time again with our team and the way that we grew in love and in faith was leaps and bounds past anything I could have ever dreamed. I know that I can speak for my team members when I say that we were so blessed to be in each others lives and we are all thankful that God brought us here to be on this team, for this time with these people, working with these kids to bring himself glory this summer.

And they all praised God

Ask us our stories and we will tell you.
Pace (Peace).

Adriana.

Her name is Adriana.
When I knew her two years ago she was quiet and shy. A girl who looked like she was 12 when she was really 15. She used to make funny faces at me and laugh at the way I said my words. She never really talked much because she was so shy. Everything about her was timid and innocent.
When I arrived at Alexandria this year one of the first girls to see me was Adriana. When she saw me (as with many of the other girls) she recognized that I was back again. My team two years ago was the last real ministry team that the girls in Alexandria have had other than teams dropping off school supplies and Christmas presents. So Adriana remembered me. Her face lit up when she saw me. I recognized her a little, but she has grown so much. She is taller and bigger and her hair is a little different. She was still quiet, but her heart seems much harder. She makes faces at me and still really enjoys laughing at me trying to speak Romanian, but her heart is hard. It has been hardened by life in the orphanage. It has been hardened by the hierarchy within the orphanage that I talked about in my post about Mimoza. She is a servant to the girls who are older than her. She doesn’t have a voice, she doesn’t have a say, but she has to obey orders or she will get beat up. She didn’t say very much to me, but she has a game where she will tap me on the shoulder or call my name then point at someone else or just look away. She always thinks that it is funny. She enjoys hugging me and getting close to me, but on her terms. Usually right before we get in the car to leave she will hug me really tight. She will look me in the eyes and say something to me that I usually can’t understand. Then I will kiss her on the forehead or cheek and tell her I love her and that she is my sister. She will hug me or hold my hand until the last second when I get in the van, then she will run to whichever window is closest to me and smile, wave, and tell me she loves me and she will see me tomorrow.

When we went to see them on our way back to Bucharest for the final time she came out of the apartment and wouldn’t really talk to me. She didn’t want to have to admit that I was leaving. I could tell that she wanted to get close, but the hardness of her heart wouldn’t let her. There was a moment that I snuck up behind her to give her a hug and she relaxed into my arms a little bit, but then she realized what she was doing and wiggled away. She cried as I got into the van

She wrote me a few notes and each one was more and more about how much she loves me and doesn’t want me to leave, but she understands that I have to. At the same time she says that even though she understands she still wants me to come back and see her. She told me not to forget about her, as if I ever could. She is so sweet. I just wish she would open up more.