Adriana.

Her name is Adriana.
When I knew her two years ago she was quiet and shy. A girl who looked like she was 12 when she was really 15. She used to make funny faces at me and laugh at the way I said my words. She never really talked much because she was so shy. Everything about her was timid and innocent.
When I arrived at Alexandria this year one of the first girls to see me was Adriana. When she saw me (as with many of the other girls) she recognized that I was back again. My team two years ago was the last real ministry team that the girls in Alexandria have had other than teams dropping off school supplies and Christmas presents. So Adriana remembered me. Her face lit up when she saw me. I recognized her a little, but she has grown so much. She is taller and bigger and her hair is a little different. She was still quiet, but her heart seems much harder. She makes faces at me and still really enjoys laughing at me trying to speak Romanian, but her heart is hard. It has been hardened by life in the orphanage. It has been hardened by the hierarchy within the orphanage that I talked about in my post about Mimoza. She is a servant to the girls who are older than her. She doesn’t have a voice, she doesn’t have a say, but she has to obey orders or she will get beat up. She didn’t say very much to me, but she has a game where she will tap me on the shoulder or call my name then point at someone else or just look away. She always thinks that it is funny. She enjoys hugging me and getting close to me, but on her terms. Usually right before we get in the car to leave she will hug me really tight. She will look me in the eyes and say something to me that I usually can’t understand. Then I will kiss her on the forehead or cheek and tell her I love her and that she is my sister. She will hug me or hold my hand until the last second when I get in the van, then she will run to whichever window is closest to me and smile, wave, and tell me she loves me and she will see me tomorrow.

When we went to see them on our way back to Bucharest for the final time she came out of the apartment and wouldn’t really talk to me. She didn’t want to have to admit that I was leaving. I could tell that she wanted to get close, but the hardness of her heart wouldn’t let her. There was a moment that I snuck up behind her to give her a hug and she relaxed into my arms a little bit, but then she realized what she was doing and wiggled away. She cried as I got into the van

She wrote me a few notes and each one was more and more about how much she loves me and doesn’t want me to leave, but she understands that I have to. At the same time she says that even though she understands she still wants me to come back and see her. She told me not to forget about her, as if I ever could. She is so sweet. I just wish she would open up more.